Due to most families busy lives they move from one part of their lives to another, not always able to enjoy time with their children.
For example, the parent wants to leave as they have someplace to be, but the child/ren are playing with Lego. The parent had asked the child to pack up the Lego instead of playing with it. The parent then is upset with the children, because they have made the parent late (and probably a mess), and they miss the amazing creation (or science experiment) that they have made.
In our busy lives, there is always somewhere to be, something to do. Many times children see something in their local area and they ask their parents if they can go. The parent responds with “someday”. Well I challenge you to consider that this summer (December/January) is that someday.
Now I know that there is time and financial constraints that hinder you from making “someday”, today (or during summer), but I encourage you to remember that the time that children want to and are able to participate in things with their parents is fleeting. While you may be able to wade through the turbulent teenage years without causing a rift between your children and yourself, it doesn’t mean that you will be able to do things as a family. As they get older, they start to work, spend time with friends, and/or are involved in sport etc. which makes it difficult for you spend time together and do the things that they want or wanted to do.
In the heartbreaking song “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin, he tells the story of a father who was traveling a lot while his child was growing up and the chorus said:
“And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when”
But we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then”
In the song, the son says “I’m gonna be like you, dad”, “You know I’m gonna be like you”.
The song goes on to say that when the father is older and wants to (or is able to) spend time with him, the son is busy studying at college (university) then has work and a family of his own. This poor father missed a large portion of his son’s life and the end of the song says:
“And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me, He’d grown up just like me,
My boy was just like me”
This isn’t necessarily said with pride, it could be meant as sorrow. That in the end of his life the father realised that the most precious people in his life – his wife and children were the important parts and his work wasn’t as important in the end.
Remember that as a Christian you are encouraged to “train up a child in the way that they may go” (Proverbs 22:6). So, remember that what you teach your children both directly and by your example will likely form their future. Now there are many people who have had bad examples from parents and have overcome it for the better, but most children replicate what they see. Children are very observant and remember your good and not good example.
A child is more likely to remember what the lessons they learned from your example more than what you have said. This is the truth and the opposite of the old saying “Do what I say and not what I do”.
Now as Christians, we acknowledge that we are not able to be perfect, which is why we have accepted Jesus into our lives. However it is also beneficial to be honest with your children. Let them know when you have made a mistake (particularly if it is against them or involving them). Show them how you would want them to react to each situation that you are in. Try to treat everyone how you would want your children to be treated and treat others.
Remember that at the end of the day you are their parent, so if you are not able to make the desired “someday” this summer, then please try to do what you can to spend time with your children and the rest of your loved ones.
We pray for a safe, loving and joyful Festive Season for you all.
The Accelerate Team.
